Have you ever truly READ the personals? So few of them are well-written. Even so, they ARE very telling if you know how to read between the lines.
Because of this, I don't hunt the personals for some potential mate. It's pointless. I've learned from past experiences that your odds of meeting someone decent through the personals is about as good as finding an unblemished $100 bill in the bottom of a lit BBQ grill.
You know what I always chuckle at? Profiles that say (AND THESE ARE ALL REAL, UNEDITED EXCERPTS FROM A POPULAR DATING SITE, BY THE WAY):
"I don't like drama and headgames". Well, no shit, Grissom. Does anyone LIKE that stuff? That's kind of like saying "I have skin. I don't like losing my skin because it hurts. My skin is the covering on my body." A for honesty, F for failure to be original.
Other notable phrases often include the passive/aggressive use of kids as a shield against the opposite sex. I see this A LOT! A lot, a lot, A LOT!!!!!! Stop it, people!
"My kids are number one/My kids are my universe/My kids are what I live for". My answer to that is, OK, that's good. That's correct. In fact, if you're a parent, then that's a very fortunate attitude!
So why do you feel the need to explain it?
It's already assumed, by most people, that your kids ARE going to be the center of your world, or darn close to it. Perhaps, if you're feeling the need to state what most people feel is obvious, YOU'RE not ready to date?
Nobody's going to claw through your barricade to get to you. They're just going to do the smart thing and walk away. An adult is NOT going to compete with your kids for your attention, and furthermore, they shouldn't have to.
"You'd better like kids if you want to be with me, because I do." What the hell is that, a threat? Boy, you sound like a control freak. No wonder your wife/husband/victim left your ass. I feel bad for your kids, too.
"My kids are the center of my world". In the next sentence, the same guy said "I like to spend my time going out to bars". Can anyone else see the lurking dysfunction here?
I like it when ppl try to assert their dominance, too:
"I pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want." Oh! How refreshing! Well, little wonder you're single, my friend. Did you not play well with others in school, too?
I also find it amusing to read what men find attractive or desirable in a partner. Here's a little montage of both physical and personal characteristics that NEVER fail to appear:
"Sexy/wild/fun/beautiful/slender/curvy/well-groomed/funny/cute/exciting/bla bla."
This is all superficial. Is this REALLY what the men of the world want? A skinny little party ragdoll? 'Cause if so, women like me haven't a hope in hell.
What about things like: "independent/honest/talented/insightful/clean/drug-free/career-minded/responsible parent/creative/intelligent/works full-time"? Do I dare to believe that those things AREN'T desireable to a man?
My point is, why post all the shallow stuff? It's tired and doesn't give anybody any positive clues about WHO YOU TRULY ARE. Plus, it isn't going to draw in anybody worthwhile.
We want to see more of what you're interested in, what makes you tick, what divorce or separation has taught you about the areas you need to improve. We want to know what moves you to tears, and what makes you cheer. More meat-and-potatoes substance, less trite, aimless "I-dunno-what-to-say-here" blathering.
Above all else, if you find that you ARE indeed at a loss for defining the important things, or if you're still too much of an emotional midget to get beyond wanting to date Single Crazy Bar-Fly Barbie, perhaps a little self-enrichment is in order before you jump into the dating pool?
Next time I'll look through the Women Seeking Men section, and give y'all the lowdown.
Later!
No comments:
Post a Comment