Listicles!! 25 questions that were posed to me.

Listicles!! 25 questions that were posed to me.

1. I can often see a photo opportunity in damn near everything.

2. One of the best influences to ever enter my life was, and is, Buddhism.

3. Apparently I have a deviated septum, according to a physician I saw. He failed to convince me to have that god-awful nasal surgery, tho. Frig it, I'll snore, thanks.

4. I am missing an appendix and 2 wisdom teeth. They were removed for good reasons!

5. I find it hard to fake happiness. I also find it hard to contain joy.

6. I have known, since I was 9 years old, that I never wanted to have kids.

7. I am a smell person. One of my all-time favorite smells is the smell of spring grass being warmed by the sun...

8. Dogs and I seem to understand each other. They seek me out! I am a dog person, though I love my bunnies!

9. I find less and less things to get annoyed about the more I grow.

10. I love Pixar movies.

11. Farts are funny. I don't care what anyone says.

12. At one time, I was working 3 jobs at once. I really didn't get any further ahead, so I don't recommend it to anyone.

13. I tend to play close to the vest, and almost always give ppl less information than they'd like.

14. Band geek?? That's me! I played alto sax and clarinet for many years!

15. I want to volunteer at the bead store down the block from me!!!!

16. Usually, when I see someone walking a dog, I talk to the dog before I talk to the person!!

17. I never really notice that I'm short until I stand next to someone and look up at them when I'm talking.

18. I have laughed hard enough to pee my pants before.

19. I have no tattoos, although I've always wanted one.

20. In the last couple of years, I started fishing again, and remembered how much I liked it!

21. I wish I had a washer and dryer in my apartment.

22. When I buy sneakers, I can still fit into boys' sneakers. HEE HEE!!!

23. I find it amusing when people trip.

24. When engrossed in a book, I can read it in a weekend or less.

25. My feet have been the same size since I was 16.

This was a bit of a challenge, but I did it!! YAAAAAY!

Practical Applications for Bubbles (inspiration provided by Steve G.!!)

Practical Applications for blowing soap bubbles (not an exhaustive list):

--During pap smear

--At an arraignment

--Work meeting

--When getting pulled over for speeding

--Job interview

--At a hockey game

--On a first date

--Psychiatrist visit

--Funeral

--In line at the DMV

--In the changing room at your favorite clothing store

--When the sex is boring

--At the Dunkin' Donuts drive-up window

Marriage is for everyone. Even you!!!

Here in our state, a bill is being considered to let same-sex marriage be legal.

I agree with it, and not just because I think every couple on Earth should be allowed to experience divorce!! *snarky snarky snark snark snark*

I think that if two people meet, fall in love, and want to get married, it doesn't matter whether they're two men, two women, or one of each. Love is love is love.

It shouldn't be up to a bunch of lawmakers to say whether a couple's love is wrong, based on their sexual preferences. I'm sure if we took a look into the lives of the ppl who oppose same-sex marriage, we'd find some appallingly questionable behavior and motives.

I hope this new bill passes, with flying colors!!

Missing a keychain?

Missing a keychain?

Maybe I just haven't paid much attention to teenagers or early college kids these days, seeing as how (thankfully!) I don't HAVE any at home.

More and more often I'm seeing kids working as cashiers, store clerks, or waiters/waitresses, and they all seem to have some really ugly-ass facial jewelry. When I worked at Hannaford while in college (when it was still called Shop and Save), facial jewelry WAS NOT ALLOWED, AT ALL.

Times have, of course, changed radically!!!

Now I'm not AGAINST piercings, by any means. I think a small, delicate, diamond nose-stud looks pretty on the right woman. Some men can indeed pull off wearing earrings, and they look downright sexy. I'll even say that I've seen well-placed eyebrow rings on some pretty tasty men.

But you will NEVER convince me that there is anything attractive about having a stainless steel ball-ring the size of a basketball hoop sticking out of your lip, or your septum. When you have all that hardware sticking out of every facial protrusion, you don't look edgy/radical/rebellious/hot/sexy. You just look like you were attacked by the spare parts drawers at Liberty Tool.

So! This is for the young lady who rang in my groceries today:

Honey, for goodness sakes. Please do yourself a favor and TAKE THAT HONKIN'-ASS DOORKNOCKER OUT OF YOUR LIP. It's ugly and makes you look like enslaved livestock. And in case you were wondering: Boys are not checking YOU out. They're looking at your lip-ring and watching it move while you talk!!!

ARTICLE: Let It Go by T.D. Jakes

This is a great piece of advice, and when I read it, it really spoke to me, and made me feel like I'm living right...since I can't lay claim to it myself, I'll just share it with everyone else.

Let it inspire you, too!



LET IT GO ...

by T.D.Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.


I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you,
loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you,
staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.


When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you,
you can' t make them stay.
Let them go.


And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person,
it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's
part in your story is over so that you
don't keep trying to raise the dead.


You've got to know when it's dead.
You've got to know when it's over.
Let me tell you something:
I've got the gift of good-bye.
It's the tenth spiritual gift,
I believe in good-bye.


It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful,
and I know that whatever I'm meant to have will be given to me.

And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!


If you are holding on to something
that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life,
then you need to LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth...
LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction ...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or
talents ..
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude...
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better...
LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past...
LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....
LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves..
LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .
LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling
yourself and your higher power is saying 'take your hands off of it,'
then you need to...LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past.
Forget the former things.
2009 is a new year!!!
LET IT GO!!!

Get right, or get left.
Think about it, and then...
LET IT GO!!!

Thoughts from my head to your eyes!

Life is short. But it seems like it lasts for untold (and
unpleasant) eternities when you force yourself to eat things that taste
like a fat-free telephone book.



Realize that life is a class and you're here to learn, so do your damndest NOT to flunk.


Personal growth, wisdom and maturity do NOT know age.


Life isn't fair, but you know, even when parts of it suck, it's still pretty decent.


Only you can give yourself permission to have a good day!!


Those who scoff at getting help for their problems are the ones who need it the most.


As we grow, the things we find beauty in will change. Similarly, the people we find beautiful may surprise us.


Don't be afraid to tell someone that they're fantastic.


Life is too short to be defensive about stupid things, and to be around people who are.

ATTENTION MEN: Things you shouldn't say when you're on the make.

I have a fun little pastime I engage in when I'm bored: Reading the personal ads for analysis and recreation.

Have you ever truly READ the personals? So few of them are well-written. Even so, they ARE very telling if you know how to read between the lines.

Because of this, I don't hunt the personals for some potential mate. It's pointless. I've learned from past experiences that your odds of meeting someone decent through the personals is about as good as finding an unblemished $100 bill in the bottom of a lit BBQ grill.

You know what I always chuckle at? Profiles that say (AND THESE ARE ALL REAL, UNEDITED EXCERPTS FROM A POPULAR DATING SITE, BY THE WAY):

"I don't like drama and headgames". Well, no shit, Grissom. Does anyone LIKE that stuff? That's kind of like saying "I have skin. I don't like losing my skin because it hurts. My skin is the covering on my body." A for honesty, F for failure to be original.

Other notable phrases often include the passive/aggressive use of kids as a shield against the opposite sex. I see this A LOT! A lot, a lot, A LOT!!!!!! Stop it, people!

"My kids are number one/My kids are my universe/My kids are what I live for". My answer to that is, OK, that's good.  That's correct.  In fact, if you're a parent, then that's a very fortunate attitude!  

So why do you feel the need to explain it?  

It's already assumed, by most people, that your kids ARE going to be the center of your world, or darn close to it.   Perhaps, if you're feeling the need to state what most people feel is obvious, YOU'RE not ready to date? 

Nobody's going to claw through your barricade to get to you. They're just going to do the smart thing and walk away. An adult is NOT going to compete with your kids for your attention, and furthermore, they shouldn't have to.

"You'd better like kids if you want to be with me, because I do." What the hell is that, a threat? Boy, you sound like a control freak. No wonder your wife/husband/victim left your ass. I feel bad for your kids, too.

"My kids are the center of my world". In the next sentence, the same guy said "I like to spend my time going out to bars". Can anyone else see the lurking dysfunction here?


I like it when ppl try to assert their dominance, too:

"I pretty much do whatever I want, whenever I want." Oh! How refreshing! Well, little wonder you're single, my friend. Did you not play well with others in school, too?


I also find it amusing to read what men find attractive or desirable in a partner. Here's a little montage of both physical and personal characteristics that NEVER fail to appear:

"Sexy/wild/fun/beautiful/slender/curvy/well-groomed/funny/cute/exciting/bla bla."

This is all superficial. Is this REALLY what the men of the world want? A skinny little party ragdoll? 'Cause if so, women like me haven't a hope in hell.

What about things like: "independent/honest/talented/insightful/clean/drug-free/career-minded/responsible parent/creative/intelligent/works full-time"? Do I dare to believe that those things AREN'T desireable to a man? 

My point is, why post all the shallow stuff? It's tired and doesn't give anybody any positive clues about WHO YOU TRULY ARE. Plus, it isn't going to draw in anybody worthwhile.

We want to see more of what you're interested in, what makes you tick, what divorce or separation has taught you about the areas you need to improve.  We want to know what moves you to tears, and what makes you cheer.    More meat-and-potatoes substance, less trite, aimless "I-dunno-what-to-say-here" blathering.

Above all else, if you find that you ARE indeed at a loss for defining the important things,  or if you're still too much of an emotional midget to get beyond wanting to date Single Crazy Bar-Fly Barbie, perhaps a little self-enrichment is in order before you jump into the dating pool?

Next time I'll look through the Women Seeking Men section, and give y'all the lowdown.

Later!

An ice fishing virgin no more!

I finally got my first taste of ice fishing this New Year's Eve weekend, and I'll definitely be doing it again!

I went with 3 of my friends, all of whom I've been fishing with before. It was a cramped car ride, in crappy weather. Moosehead was a LONG drive away on greasy, slushy roads, with mixed nasty precip falling constantly.

Once we got there, though, it was worth it. In the first 30 minutes, 2 of the 5 tip-ups went off, so it made the rotten drive worthwhile. The lake was actually quite beautiful, with a little bit of fog travelling over its' frozen, snowy surface...I've never seen it in winter, only in the summer and fall, so this was all new to me.

The only casualty was the hand-crank ice augur. It drilled 5 holes into a foot of ice on Moosehead Lake before detaching itself from the crank and disappearing into the water. I believe Fester's exact words were "You've got to be F**ING SH**ING ME!!!!!" as he crouched over the 5th and final hole, staring down into the water helplessly.

30 minutes hadn't even passed before one of the locals very kindly informed us that we'd better get the hell out of there because, unbeknownst to us all, there is to be NO fishing on Moosehead before January 1st.

The absolute lack of other fishermen on the lake made sense then!!! So we packed up everything, trudged off the ice, and piled into the car for a soggy and crowded return trip.

Ah well. There'll be other fishing days, and hopefully not as ill-fated as this one!

THANKSGIVING 2008: Thanks A Lot!!

After seeing a friend's blog, I was inspired to write my own list of thanks. So here it is, in no particular order. This is not an exhaustive list, by any means; these are just the things that come to mind right now.

Thanks A Lot:

1. Steady employment:

I'm happy to still be employed (and working for a company that's GAINING business!) in this time of downsizing, Chapter 11, closings, and going-out-of-business. I'm also happy to have a boss I enjoy, and pretty decent co-workers.

2. My longtime and faithful friends.

I'm talking about the REAL friends, not the fair-weather ones who've called me only when they want to go out and drink, or when all of their fun friends are busy, or the ones who want, want, want everything from me and have nothing to give in return.

One friend in particular has outlasted all others to the present day. This person has been in my life since I had only a few gray hairs, (and relatively perkier boobs!), has been there for so many life events, workplace horror stories, volumes of inside jokes, vacations, bad decisions, dark times, gain and loss, deaths, happiness, sadness...the REAL shit. This friend has seen the arrival and inevitable departure of everyone I've dated or been serious with in the past 14 years, and hasn't flinched.

And since I'm sure I haven't said this enough (because I'm finding that you never can!!), I love you to pieces.

3. My health.

It's become even more important since finding out, in 2007, that I'm insulin-resistant, which means that if I don't watch myself, I could develop diabetes down the road. Insulin resistance runs in the family on both sides, apparently.

I've made some diet changes that I don't always stick to (because I'm human, after all), but I have seen results despite that.

4. Shelter, heat, and hot water.

I'm happy to still have a roof over my head, and to have good neighbors. They're not just my neighbors, they're also my friends, which is fantastic.

5. A simple life.

I have no kids, and have never married. This is by design. I'm independent, because I've had to be. And I'm glad. I'm not rich by any means, and some days I come up short. But that's life.

(Not that I wouldn't mind having someone special in my life, but I don't want all the attendant bullshit and baggage that can clutter it up.)

So until I meet someone who doesn't surprise me midstream with a bunch of unpleasantries (I don't care if it's really a word, but it works here!), it's just me, the houseplants, and the rabbits. Cool.


6. Good hair.

OK, I know this sounds kind of superficial, but I think I have my mom's genes to thank for this. It's naturally wavy, I've not dyed it since I was a senior in high school, and no matter how I've had it cut, it's always looked good and healthy. It's sprinkled with gray now, but still looks good, and I intend to let it GO gray without any bottled-up intervention.

When I think of how much money ppl spend on their hair, I feel lucky. LOL!!

7. My creativity.

It's kept me entertained throughout the years...a few of my hobbies allow for the liberal use of it: beadworking, cooking, photography, writing, etc.

8. The ability to read.

My mother taught me how to read, and had me reading the newspaper at 4 years old. To this day, I still devour books like they're Lindt truffles. I cannot imagine what it must be like not to be able to read and enjoy it.

9. Therapy.

If it wasn't for insightful professionals, I (and many others like me) would still be stuck in the same bad patterns, with no hope of breaking free and making life better. Getting help is the best thing I ever did to ensure that my future wouldn't be like my past.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone...today, and all days.

A$$hole motorcyclists who spoil it for others

OK, I've finally seen enough that I'm going to post a little bloggy-poo.

Just this summer alone, I've seen a lot of bikers who don't seem to understand that having a bike license does not entitle you to turn into an inconsiderate, oblivious douchebag.

Other people I know, who are experienced riders (15, 20, or 30 years of experience), are also getting pissed off about these things, because they say it makes the roads unsafe, even for the good riders. I agree.

Here is a list of things that, I think, might cause a general erosion of respect for folks who travel on 2 wheels:

--Excessively loud pipes. OK, there's factory loud, which is one thing. That's at least tolerable, I guess.

But then there's LOUD AS A BASTARD. You know the ones. Yes, we hear you. You're quite a showstopper. Now go put on some new pipes and stop being such a showboat asshole. I don't know ANYONE who's impressed by that, except other morons. And I don't really believe that those crazy-loud pipes "save lives", as much as they're designed to attract attention and piss folks off.

--Wheelies and other stunts that just BEG for a washout. I see this a lot, and every time, it's in the sportbiker crowd. (Not all sportbikers are like that, don't get me wrong here. But we always notice the ones who are.) These people deserve a broken collarbone, and should have to pay double for the ambulance to take their "LOOK AT MEEEEEEEEEE!!" asses to the ER. They're distracting other people, and creating an unsafe situation on the road.

Funny Pics and Myspace Layouts at pYzam.com

--People who hang their helmets on the seat. Let me say this: I think that if you don't want to wear a helmet, then fine, don't.

But don't bring it along with you and hang it on the helmet lock like it's some kind of magic talisman.

Although.....if you DO finally flip your bike, and in the wreckage they see that you've got a helmet available, at least they'll have something to scoop your brains up off the road with, chips-and-dip style.

--People who ride drunk. I don't even need to EXPLAIN why this is bad.

--Tailgating bikers. Once again, I don't need to explain why this is going to eventually create a problem. I see this a lot in traffic. So for these impatient souls: Unless you want to headbutt a trunk-lid when someone has to stop short, back the hell off and keep a space cushion between you and the vehicle in front. Remember THAT from your bike class? I do.

More Funny Pictures and Myspace Layouts atpYzam.com

--Bikers who pull out in front of cars, without even LOOKING. Yeah, this happened to me this summer, and I've seen it 4 other times since then.

I almost ate a guy on a Sportster (NOT wearing a helmet, either, mind you!!) with my front bumper. Friggin' moron. He was pulling out in front of me, and didn't look both ways when doing so. Only when I piled the brakes on, hammered on the horn, and shouted obscenities out the window did he look my way. And HE looked at ME like I was in the wrong!!

THESE are the people you read about in the paper who get seriously hurt, and someone always cries "Drivers don't look out for bikers, they need to be more aware of bikers, blat blat blat".

Not so much. In many cases, I've noticed that it's not the DRIVERS who aren't paying attention. So I'd say that's partially a crock of shit.

More and more I see stories of fatal accidents involving bikes. There are times that I wonder......what happened?? It's not always the guy in the minivan, you know.

I still haven't bought a bike, and I've had my license for 4 years. Part of it is because I have other things that I need to spend a couple grand on besides a bike.

But that's not all of it.

The other reason is because I keep reading the paper. I don't want to be the good rider who STILL ends up as road pizza because of a growing indifference to bikers which, I think, is partly because of the reasons listed above.